


Average Day

by percycat03



Category: Original Work, What's One More Bad Idea?
Genre: Birthday Fluff, Birthday Party, Fighting Kink, Fluff, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Original Fiction, Polyamory, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 14:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20211385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/percycat03/pseuds/percycat03
Summary: Jlan thinks it's going to be a normal day of training and avoiding paperwork, but that never happens with six other absolute disasters.





	1. Three Disasters and One Bad Idea

Kisplae, could Lucas turn his alarm up any louder? I can hear from the gym, which is at least two hallways away from his room. I kinda feel bad for SJ because he’s Lucas’s roommate, but not really, because SJ’s annoying enough that he deserves it. 

Damn, I only have about five minutes before Maya gets back from running and joins me. I hope she’s not in the mood to talk because I am not ready for human interaction. I could do the paperwork I’ve been putting off to avoid her, but that can wait til tonight, or tomorrow. Or never. I could make breakfast, but Alleia is picky, and Lucas is allergic to so much stuff it’s not even funny, like seriously, the boy’s a demon and can't eat bananas. What kind of afterlife is that? 

“Mornin’ Jlan,” I have wasted all my extra time, and Maya is back. I wave back and continue working on this aeril-roundhouse kick thingy. Maya wraps her hands and starts punching a punching bag. Her muscles are very defined and, wow, is that hot. Like Maya is taken but hot damn I would go for her.  
For quite a while, it’s just Maya and me in the gym. I’m an insomniac and she still runs on a military schedule so this is how most mornings usually go. Virginia is probably also up but that’s because she likes the sunrise. Shelby shows up today at about 7:30 with Starbucks for the both of us. I love her. So much. 

“Caspian, help me with sword technique,” Shelby shouts while hacking away at a dummy.

“Well, one,” I say, walking over, “loosen the fuck up.” I grab her shoulders and try pushing her to face me. She doesn’t budge. 

“Didn't you tell me to be stronger?” She questitions, a glint in her eye tells me she that she’s tired and in the mood to be in asshole. I can roll with that.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” I quip back. “Your will needs to be stronger, not your posture. Move with your opponent and never be where they think you're gonna be.” I spin her to face me. “Try it.” 

“Against you?” She looks a bit nervous at this, which makes sense. I’ve ripped people apart in seconds in front of her, just because they’ve pissed me off.

“I’d never hurt **you**,” I whisper to her. She turns a beautiful shade of red that almost matches her deep scarlet eye. 

“Let’s just fight,” she grumbles. I smirk and lunge forward to scare her, stopping just a second before my knife touches her throat. I can see her eyes steel up in determination and then the real fight begins. 

Her dual-colored swords swing toward me. I lean back and do a backwalkover. She sweeps my legs out from under me, but I just flip out of it. Shelby sprints and slices at my side but still doesn’t get anywhere because I block with one of my knives. I try to hide my snickering as she glares. Shelby just looks like a kitten trying to fight a mountain lion whenever she glares. She keeps getting more and more brash the more I evade her. I wait until she lunges a little too far, and then I sweep her feet and jump on her.

“Looks like I won,” I purr, two inches from Shelby’s face.

“Fuck you” she spits, right before crashing her lips into mine. I kiss back, in a much better mood now. I completely forget that Maya’s still here until I hear a crash.

“Fucking Christ guys, seriously!?” Maya curse from the other side of the room. I push myself off of Shelby as she tries to pull me back.

“She’s right babe” I whisper, partly because we’re so close and partly because I would die before I let Maya hear that. 

“Ughhh, fine,” she whines, like the brat she is. “We should probably eat an actually breakfast that’s not coffee.”

I nod “Yeah sounds good. Want to join us Rosie?” 

“No, I’m good, I already ate,” Maya says pointly. There’s a chance that she already ate, but I’m pretty sure that she just doesn't want to be alone with us anymore. 

As we get closer to the kitchen, sounds start to pour out, Manly curses and clangs. 

“Stop!” A crash is heard. “Too late asshole!” 

“Shit shit shit. Help me damnit!” 

“Your mess, fucker!”

“What the hell is going on here!?” I yell, barging into the kitchen. My eyes are met with the sight of Lucas, Alleia, and SJ all covered in various liquids and powders. I assume they were trying to cook, but none of them can actually cook.

“Um…” Alleia says, trying to look anywhere but my eyes “We wanted to surprise you,” I raise my eyebrows.

“You, wanted to surprise, me?” I question. It’s not any holiday I can think of. Imbolc isn’t for a week and we have a least two full weeks before Valentine’s day. I can’t fathom what this surprise is for.

“Today is January 25,” Lucas mumbles. I squint. 

“And why is that important?”

“That’s the day you joined our team last year,” Lucas says, still looking down. 

Oh, I’d forgotten. I didn’t think it really mattered that much.

“And since you don’t remember your birthday…” Alleia trailed off, messing with her pale green hair.

“...we figured, this could be your birthday,” SJ finished. Looks like I forgot something else important too, here on Earth, they did things like that. Every year there were birthdays and anniversaries. Life was fleeting here, so they celebrated every turn around the sun. It was odd for someone like me, who was so old that I didn’t even remember my own age. I’ve been on this planet for 10,000 years but that was only a tiny fraction of my life. 

“Is that OK?” I’m jerked out of my thoughts to see apprehension on Lucas’s face. 

“Of course it is, Songbird,” I walk over and pull Lucas into a hug. I realized that I probably should have said something sooner so they didn't freak out.  
“I’m just not used to birthdays.”

“Group hug!” is all the warning I get before SJ barrels into us. Alleia and Shelby also join, but much calmer. 

“Now can we have some help” Lucas asks putting on his best puppy dog eyes.

“Duh, you think we’re gonna leave you hanging” Shelby smirks. She’s actually pretty good in the kitchen, second best only after Virginia. 

“Should we get Virginia?” I ask while Alleia shows Shelby whatever the hell they were trying to make. Lucas and SJ share a look.

“Well…” SJ starts “We didn't exactly talk to her about this.”

“Who did you talk to then?” 

“Just me, SJ, and Alleia” Lucas rubs the back of his neck. “We didn't know if you would enjoy this or not and we didn't want anyone else to take the fall.” I facepalm. 

“I’m just going to go talk to her,” I say “Go help Thing 1 and Thing 2 over there.” Jerking my head to Alleia and Shelby. As I walk out I hear Shelby shout.  
“I resent that!”

Rolling my eyes I walked up to the roof. Virginia liked to watch the sunrise and bask in the morning light. I could understand the appeal but I can’t stand to sit still for too long. I need to be reminded that I’m alive. I want my lungs to burn, throat to ache, to hurt. I may be a bit of a masochist. But that’s off topic, back to Virginia. Who is currently looking at me weirdly. Fuck. I really should stop getting so caught up in my thoughts.

“Morning Angel” I purr at her, sitting down next to her on her blanket. 

“What do you want?” She asked dryly. I flick my eyes over to make sure she wasn’t actually mad. She looked two seconds away from laughing and I left out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

“What? Can't I spend a little time with my little angel?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Jlan.” I pouted at her. 

“Fine, We’re trying to cook and need your help.” I relent and just ask. “Please?”

“I’m sure that you grown adults don't really need my help.” Virginia deadpanned.

“Maybe, just maybe, we want you there. Consider that.” I did jazz hands while staring straight into her eyes. I like her eyes, they have such pretty designs. She laughed out loud, which was almost impossible to hear, but I didn't care because it meant she was happy and comfortable enough to let go. 

“Alright, I’ll help, even if it is just to see those hooligans make a mess.” I woop, grab her hand, and start running.

By the time we make it back to the kitchen we’re both very out of breath from racing back. I look at her and share a moment, a little bubble of peace. It is quickly shattered as Alleia grabs both of us by our shirt collars and assigns us jobs. I, like usually, end up chopping stuff up. I’m really good with knives.

Virginia ends up doing the actual cooking because the rest of us have a tendency to either overcook or undercook everything. We’ve all gotten food poisoning at one point of another due to SJ’s cooking. He’s absolutely terrible at it.

I smell pancakes and I think I see some blueberry ones. I hope so, those are my favorite. I’m currently cutting up chives and ham so I’m sure there’s some sort of breakfast casserole on the way. 

This is what I love about being part of the team, the way that we’re more than a team, we’re a family. Shelby is holding milk above her head so that Alleia can’t get to it. Lucas is ranting about some boy or another to Virginia while she cooks and laughs at him. SJ and Maya are arguing over who’s cooler, Bill Nye or Ms. Frizzle. Wait, when did Maya get here? Eh, it doesn’t really matter, what matters it that she’s here now. 

After 40* minutes everything is ready to eat, and I was right, there’s blueberry pancakes. There’s also hashbrowns, sausage, and quiche lorraine.  
“So is this a special occasion or…?” Maya asks, looking directly at me as if I had planned this.

“Actually, it is,” Lucas beams, using his ‘I’m innocent’ smile. Which is bullshit, by the way. “It’s Jlan’s birthday.” Maya’s piercing eyes move back to me as I try to sink down in my seat.

“It’s just the day I joined the team, no big deal,” I whine from under the table, my voice muffled by the hoodie that I pulled over my face. 

“We figured since Jlan didn’t remember their birthday, we’d give them one.” Alleia explains, giddy and reminiscent of a five year-old up on candy. This is a side of her only we get to see, and if I wasn’t so miserable, I’d appreciate it. 

“Ughhhhhhhhhhh” I moan, still hiding under the table.

“Why didn't you tell me, I would have got a gift.” Maya says. I’m still moaning but they all just talk over me. I feel like a petulant child and I’m okay with that. 

“We didn't tell y’all because we knew Jlan would act like this over being spoiled.” Lucas snarked, his southern accent coming through.

“Come on Prince, accept our love.” Shelby speaks up. Prince is one of my nicknames and one that I have a love-hate relationship with. The human name I go by is Caspian, so there are many, many, many, prince jokes. 

“Did you guys plan anything else?” Maya asks, now curious.

“You better not have,” I complain, “or I’m gonna kick your ass.” 

“Actually,” Lucas starts, I start screaming again, “yes, we have plans.” I reach above the table and flip them off. Everyone laughs at how ridiculous I’m being. Which is fair, I’m acting like a child, but I don’t really care. I can hear Virginia’s barely there breath, Alleia’s giggle, and Shelby’s high pitched laugh. It makes me happy too, knowing I’m surrounded by friends. 

“Fine.” I finally slither back onto the bench, “What’re we doing?” I catch SJ’s neon yellow eyes and I know I’m gonna regret giving in. “And remember, we have a job tonight.”

“Yeah, that’s why all the drinking is after the job,” SJ winks and I know that I probably won’t even remember the night. Oh Kisplae, help me. “First, we’re going to the mall.”

“Yup.” Lucas picks up where SJ left off. “This is why is y’all didn’t have to get presents, because we’re gonna be playin’ a little game.”

Someone kill me now. 

“We’re all gonna run around the mall and try to find three items. One, something the color of Jlan’s eyes, two, something that they’ll find useful, and lastly, something that represents their soul.” 

At least I’ll be getting something useful out of this hurricane of stupidity. 

“And Jlan will pick a winner in each category,” Alleia exclaims. I would have been fine with one gift from all of them but 18 gifts? Seriously? 

“I get to set one rule if I’m gonna participate.” I search their faces, making sure they were all okay with it before continuing, “The total of all three gifts can’t be more than $20.”

Alleia starts pouting.

“We all make enough money to spoil you. Why won’t you let us?” She complains. I almost give in looking at her puppy dog eyes. But, I know I won’t be able to accept any expensive gifts.

“Because I’ll feel guilty and be miserable.” I state, knowing they know me well enough to understand that I’m not kidding. Seeing them look at me with understanding makes me a little emotional. I don’t know how I ended up with such good friends.

“Let’s get a move on then.” Lucas exclaims, jumping up. “We’re all indecisive little fucks, so this will take hours!” He is way too excited about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * I don't know how to cook so this may or may not be correct.


	2. We Get Don’t Banned From Anything (A First for Us)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I regret my entire existence. Not really, that’s hyperbole. But I still wish that I hadn’t agreed to this

I regret my entire existence. Not really, that’s hyperbole. But I still wish that I hadn’t agreed to this. Why? 

Well, because of the soul bond we all share, they can all summon me whenever they want to. They’ve all been abusing that power aggressively today. Everyone except Lucas, which is really fishy.

I thought that I could leave them to shop by themselves, like reasonable human beings. Even though only one of them is completely human. I was hoping to get some clothing shopping done. That did not happen.

The most time I’ve been left alone since get here was 5 minutes. Seriously. I’ve currently spent 4 minutes and 18 seconds alone but I have a feeling it’s not gonna last.

I’m right, as I’m called, 32 seconds later, to Alleia’s side. She’s holding some blood red lipsticks so I assume she’s on eye color. My sclera is blood red instead of white, but I hide that in public so I don’t get sent to a hospital, again (my running count is 4 well-meaning citizens).  
“Drop the glamor, please.” Alleia pouts. She complains about me hiding my eyes in public because she thinks they’re pretty. It always made me flustered because no one else really thinks that.

“Just for you sweetheart.” I flirt, hoping she can’t see how much she affects me. I adore her but I’m also awkward and emotionally distant.  
She starts holding the lipsticks up to my eyes and comparing. I hope I’m not as red as I feel, with her so close to me. I can feel her breath on my face.

“Are you ok? You look really red.” Alleia questions.

Oh Kisplae save me, she looks at me with actual concern, even though I’m just blushing like a schoolgirl with a crush.

I nod, not trusting my mouth at this point. 

“Thank you Cas-Cas,” She grins brightly, “I’m done shopping now if you want to hang.”

“Yeah I’d love that. Fair warning though, the others have been summoning me a lot.” I frown, as we walk toward the door, “Don’t you have to pay for that?”

Now it’s her turn to turn strawberry as she splutters before walking over to a register. 

I actually do get spend a decent amount of time with her. We got matching outfits, it was nice. Even if the shirts say**_ ‘thot’_**. After everyone was done shopping we met up at the one Olive Garden we’re not banned from. It only took us like 2 ½ hours too. 

“Before we enter, I would like to ask that y’all behave. Please.” I announce outside. This is one of my favorite restaurants and I’d rather not be banned from all the Olive Gardens in the city.

“Aye-Aye Cap’n,” quips SJ, the smartass. I roll my eyes before turning around, knowing they’ll follow. 

“Seven please,” I speak to the waiter at the desk, while grabbing Lucas’s hand as he attempts to pickpocket another customer. I keep smiling and hope no one noticed. 

I pulled Lucas away to where the rest are waiting, nice and patient.

“If I catch you doing that again, I’ll break your fingers.” I hiss under my breath at him, hoping he takes my threat seriously.

“C’mon, we do illegal shit all the time, I didn’t think that really mattered.” He protests, smirk letting me know that he’s not scared.

“It’s not about the law, it’s that this is the only Olive Garden within 30 miles that we’re not banned from. If they catch you stealing, we’ll be banned for this one too.” I grab both his wrists, ready to snap them if he doesn’t listen. “Understand, Songbird?”

He rapidly nods and I ease off. I know he had to steal to survive growing up, but he has money and a family now. I know how hard it is to adjust but I wish he wasn’t so scared of poverty anymore. I love him too much for that and he knows. At least I hope he does. 

“Caspian.” I’m shook out of my revelry by a member of the wait staff. I’m surprised it was this fast, it usually takes a while when we eat out altogether. I’ll take it though.

After we all order, they start with the presents. 

“Me first, Me first!” Alleia is grinning and looks so happy that no one can turn her down, me included. 

“Fine,” I concede. She pulls an opaque shopping bag out and hands it to me.

“Happy Unofficial Birthday!” 

I take the bag and open it. I’m pleasantly surprised by what I see. There’s one of the lipsticks from earlier, the perfect blood red. There’s also some Percy Jackson book marks and a compact mirror. The outside of the mirror is beautiful metal work in silver and on the inside there’s a note. I look at Alleia and she’s still smiling at me, so I figure it can’t be too bad. I unfold the paper, on it is Alleia’s pretty cursive. 

_Happy Birthday, Jlan. Thank you, for seeing potential in me, to be more than just a killer. I was in a rough spot and you helped pull me out. I’m glad you’re still here. _

That last line brought me to tears. I lunge and hug her.  
“I would never leave you.” I whisper in her ear, “You mean too much to me.”

“Really?”

“Of course.” 

“Who's next?” I ask. Virginia raises her hand. Luckily she’s already sitting right next to me so she doesn’t have to move. The average human talks at 60db but Virginia can’t speak louder than 30db so it’s really hard to have a conversation in public. 

“Alright, gang gang,” I smirk at her knowing she hates that phase. Which is ironic considering she runs a gang. I mean she does call it a club, but whatever. She scowls but hands me a hot topic bag. 

When I look in I see a teal nail polish, a set of neon gel pens, and a forever susan lily. The lily takes my breath away, it’s flawless.  
“Oh my Kisplae.” I murmur. Virginia leans in.

“I picked it and charmed it, which means to will never wilt.” She whispers in my ear. 

“I assume this is the one that embodies my soul?” I lean in and put my head on her shoulder. She nods.

“Thank you.”

I’m pretty sure the nail polish is my eye color because last time I checked, I didn’t have neon green eyes. I also 99% sure Virginia isn’t color blind. 

Lucas gifts me a notebook with jokes written on every page. I have no idea when he got the time for that. It’s also red so he counts it as all of his items. He’s a conniving little bastard. I love him.

Maya gave me two poisons and a knife, which definitely broke the $20 limit. Apparently she made the poisons a while ago but just never gave them to me. The poisons are both red but one go into effect immediately while the other takes 48 hours to work. 

SJ has the weirdest haul by far. I guess he’s still not used to this world. Or he’s just odd, I have no clue. He bought fluffy pajama pants, aqua spray paint, and a bow tie. Please note: I can't tie a bow tie, I can only tie a regular tie, so how he thought that was a good decision is beyond me. 

Finally, Shelby gives me her bag. The first thing I see has me bursting out in laughter.

“Care to share with the class?” Lucas asks. I just hold up the pin that says_ ‘Be Gay, Do Crimes’_. Everyone cracks up after that, because that’s literally what we do for a living. 

The next thing I pull out is a Russian nesting doll because why not? It’s honestly beautiful, I just can’t, for the life of me, figure out the category for it. It’s a nice pastel green so that rules out eyes, there is no real use for it, and I really hope that Shelby isn’t calling my soul a Russian nesting doll.

Shelby found time to put tissue paper in her bag so I can’t find her last item. It’s getting sad at this point because where the hell could it be? I finally look up when I hear Alleia starting to laugh. And when I do I find Shelby looking at me holding a bracelet. Her platinum hair is frizzy and floats around her face and with that teasing smile, she’s so beautiful it takes my breath away. 

“Here, silly” She giggles, eyes full of mirth. 

What she gives me is a thin silver cuff with the words ‘i am not crazy my reality is just different to yours’. It brings tears to my eyes. It’s a quote from Lewis Carrol that has been my mantra for years. Both Shelby and I have DID so our realities are very different to most people's. 

“Princess, I,” I let out a sob, “I’m so glad we made it here.”

“So am I.” Her eyes water but she isn't crying like I am. She opens her arms and I collapse into her.

“I love you, Jlan,” She whispers into my hair.

“I love you too, Princess.” We get about five seconds of serenity before…

“Group hug!” Alleia shouts. I feel bodies hugging me but we’re still at Olive Garden, in a booth. So not real ideal hugging conditions. 

“Guys, this can wait til we’re back home and not in a public restaurant.” I plead but I’m not sure how much I’m heard with all the bodies on me.

“They’re right.” Thank Kisplae for Maya. 

“Fine,” Alleia pouts, “but you better remember that you promised me a cuddle sesh.”

“Course kiddo.” Lucas says and ruffles her hair.

“I am not a kid!”

I tune their bickering out and start trying to decide what dessert I want. I’m stuck between the chocolate lasagna, which looks better than it sounds, and tiramisu. Who am I kidding, I can and will eat both. Maya and Virginia are both gonna give me shit for it, but this won’t be my last bad food decision.  
I’m starting to think they forgot about the competition, but no such luck. Apparently Lucas and Alleia have already concluded their squabble as I’m promptly intereagated. 

“So J,” Lucas begins, “who won?”

“Yeah!” Alleia grabs my arm, “Come on, tell us.”

Six pairs of eyes look at me expectantly. I sigh and begin.

“First of all, thank you for everything. Most of it I will actually use so that’s nice.” I pointedly look at SJ, “I’ll start with eye color, everyone picked out such nice things, but the coolest was Alleia’s lipstick.” She grins blindly.

“Next is useful items. But first, SJ, what category were the pajama pants supposed to be?”

“Useful items, duh, ” He rolls his eyes and I can hear Shelby trying to hold back laughter. 

“In that case, the pajama pants win. I keep forgetting to get some pants like that, so thanks.” SJ looks incredulos, as does most everyone else.

“Lastly, the soul item.” I smile, “This was the easiest of all to pick. Shelby’s bracelet won.” I turn to her and kiss her. I hear Lucas laughing and calling us cheesy but I couldn’t care less. Not with Shelby in my arms.


End file.
